Is being vulnerable a good thing? If your vulnerability is motivated by empathy or compassion, it can be quite beneficial to embrace it. However, if your vulnerability is based on feelings of insecurity, helplessness, or weakness, it will most likely, not serve you well. Feeling inadequate, unprotected, or at-risk erodes your control and impedes your emotional well-being. There are actions you can take to move beyond your vulnerabilities so you can say yes, to the next opportunity.
Acknowledge what you are feeling
You may be associating your feelings with a past negative performance or mistake that is continuing to haunt you. Being aware of your emotional triggers and truthfully admitting to yourself what you’re feeling is necessary for you to move forward. If you are feeling anxious, share how it is impacting you with a friend, a relative that you trust or medical professional. It is important that you are honest with yourself when you are experiencing angst or feeling overwhelmed, by admitting that you are in a state of anxiety or quickly approaching it.
Whether you are facing a new or reoccurring negative emotion, do not bury your feelings. Avoidance never works and only prolongs the agony. It continues to feed, support, and magnify the disregarded emotion. The ability to recognize how emotions can take hold of our life and create negative influences is pivotal to you taking control. It also helps, if you understand and adopt the idea that many have experienced similar situations, and in some instances, even more dire circumstances, yet they prevailed. With this knowledge, it is easier to accept that you are not alone and trust that there is a way out and for you to move forward. Since others have had similar experiences and were able to overcome them to enjoy fulfilled lives, it can be inspiring and give you hope.
Training yourself to control your responses, how you react to anxiety or fear will help you to feel less vulnerable. Develop strategies with a focus to build a sense of pride and accomplishments which will help reduce your anxiety. It is important to establish predictable processes and reinforcement tactics, so you remain in charge of your day-to-day life.
Understand the difference between, feelings, beliefs, and facts
Feelings are neither right nor wrong, therefore there should be no judgement regarding your feelings. I recognize that feelings are real, and as stated previously, they must be acknowledged, if you ever hope to manage them. Therefore, they should never be denied or ignored because this is a recipe for disaster. Not admitting that you have an open wound that’s pulsating and bleeding, doesn’t mean it will go away or that it does not exist. It only means, that in time, it will most likely destroy you – your plans, your career, your future. Time must be devoted to developing a strategy to manage your feelings so you can frame how you choose to respond to them.
In addition to our feelings, we must contend with our beliefs. You should challenge all beliefs that are no longer serving you. It is time to confront the lies, you are harboring. For instance, you may believe that others will not admire you if you show weakness, or personal frailties. What’s actually true is, you do not have to be perfect to be lovable. Adopting some beliefs will cause you to feel a certain way and remain stagnant, such as, “this is just how I am” with an inference that change is not possible. This flawed thinking will only serve to inhibit your progress and willingness to change. While I recognize that beliefs can be based on facts, it’s not a prerequisite. In many instances, our beliefs control our values and influence our personal identity without ever being based on facts, proof, or evidence. This is truly a tragedy because you do not have to live your life this way. Beliefs can be obstructed and manipulated based on what we want to believe. “Want to” and what really exist can be worlds apart. Committing serious time to decipher the difference between feelings and beliefs will serve you well.
Facts are based on evidence or proof. I encourage you to use facts as personal tools to calm and lessen fear. I strongly urge you to deescalate fear and anxiety, to move your focus from thoughts and perceptions to what you know to be true, based on facts. If you are surrounded by negative family members and friends who foster negative narratives that reenforce your fears, you must first acknowledge your current circumstance, so you can change it. You don’t have to disown of disassociate with your family or friends, however you must limit their access so you can make room for a new paradigm that prepares you to say yes, in spite of your vulnerability. Start by incorporating positive feedback loops – intentionally embracing a plan for success that is based on facts. Begin gathering factual information so you will be equipped and able to address reoccurring, damaging thoughts, fears and anxiety, as soon as they appear. Each time you are tempted to revisit past negative feedback loops, immediately confront them with your arsenal of facts designed to free your mind and spirit. Keep in mind, this will be an ongoing practice – it will be a marathon, not a sprint.
Sometimes it can be difficult to distinguish between deep beliefs, feelings and what is indeed a fact. Feelings, beliefs, and facts can become conflated when mixed with perceptions and understandings. However, investing time in learning how to understand and differentiate your beliefs, feelings and facts will place you in a less vulnerable state.
Choose to embrace your inner power
Participating in a self-assessment will position you to discover essential aspects of your behavior and competencies. Evaluating this information will be helpful in developing a plan for personal resiliency and highlighting proactive behaviors so you can take back your power. A thoughtful review will allow your inner strengths to surface and empowers you to act in alignment with your core, who you really are, your super-power. Just as we have trained our brain to respond to negative inducements we can and should work to establish habits to produce constructive repetitive behavior. Positive self-talk based on your strengths, talents and skills will bolster your confidence. I hasten to add, this is more than positive thinking because your positive self-talk will be based on information gathered from your self-assessment.
Reaching your true inner power can be achieved through introspection, meditation, prayer, and deep reflection. Even if you only have few moments, I suggest that you adopt a practice of integrating personal moments of silence, daily. Shutting out noise and distractions to your everyday life creates a safe space to bask in and enjoy your inner strengths. This allows you to center yourself so you can connect with your natural state. New habits will be formed by releasing negative thought patterns which will give you more insight and inspiration to tackle and conquer your vulnerabilities and life challenges.
