“Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist – while you guys were busy arguing about the glass of wine, I drank it! Sincerely, the opportunist!” – Lori Greiner
What is a Chief Success Officer (CSO) and how can I assume this new role in my personal life? When looking at the corporate world, the Chief Success Officer is more aligned with the definition of a Chief Customer Officer (CCO). The CCO occupies the highest position in any customer success department. Serving alongside executive board members, they drive customer success initiatives like creating customer loyalty programs and offering customer success training for employees.
In the spirit of transparency, I will take a few liberties when modifying the Customer Success Officer (CSO) role to a position that’s employed by you, for you.
You have appointed yourself to fill an important role in your life. You have just engaged (say your name) to be your Chief Success Officer. The time is NOW to learn how becoming your own CSO will be one of your greatest assets. The steps to getting you there are 1) mindset, 2) emotional intelligence, 3) routines, 4) skills, and 5) networking. Let’s examine what’s needed for you to “drive your success initiatives by creating a personal program “just for you” by mapping your success strategy.
MINDSET
“Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it.” – Steve Maraboli
Where does mindset fit in this equation, you ask? Yes, you’ve heard it many times and there is a reason that mindset must be part of any conversation when discussing your personal success. This is especially true if you are in your mid-life stage. At different times in our life the value you place on the importance of mindset will most likely change. So, what are we really talking about? Let’s ask it another way, what set of assumptions, methods, or notions do you hold dear, guide your thinking, or control your reactions and responses to how you engage the world?
In the workplace a CCO must work on the mindset of many, interdepartmentally, but in your Customer Success Officer (CSO) role your focus will be you – what and how you are thinking. Do you have a fixed mindset or growth mindset? You have a fixed mindset, if you believe or say things like, “this is just who I am, and we all know that people don’t really change”. Conversely, if you believe or say things like, “I am a work in progress, I am constantly changing and believe that others can to, if they so choose”, then you have a growth mindset. Hopefully, the latter is where you identify yourself. There is an abundance of experts, past and present who have dedicated a great deal of study and research of, as well as published works about mindset. Their findings are readily available, so I encourage you to spend time delving deeper to learn about mindset from different perspectives. I will briefly touch on its importance as it relates to you developing the Chief Success Officer role for your personal life.
A growth mindset is crucial for you to be able to effectively deal with daily life challenges. This type of mindset places you on the right path to success, and away from repetitive negative behaviors. When you believe that you are an evolving being, open to change, regardless of your age or status, you are your best asset and advocate, constantly routing for yourself. As I mentioned previously, taking time to discover, why you think the way you do, what impacts your mindset and how to change your mindset, are worth your commitment to learn, and I urge you to do so. Your study will most likely reveal that process is just as important and, in some instances, more important than outcomes. What’s the difference? A simplified explanation is outcomes are fixed, you either accomplish them or not, and process emphasizes the effort a person puts in to accomplishing a task. You will also discover that focusing on the journey is important. When you do this, you are giving energy to not only what you are doing but how and why you are doing it. You are taking time to “smell the roses” along the path. Also, paying close attention to the words you speak and the thoughts you are having, is valuable. Because unproductive, derogatory words and phrases can be swapped to include more uplifting positive expressions; negative thoughts can be challenged and replaced with more productive images. Becoming knowledgeable about what mindset is and how it influences your decisions empowers you to embrace a growth mindset and enables you to oversee your mental fitness.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
We are hearing the term emotional intelligence more and more in conversations especially where there is a discussion involving relational matters. So, what exactly is emotional intelligence? In my readings, I’ve discovered two definitions that seem to fit best. The first is – emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand and manage emotions in ourselves and others. The other definition is – emotional intelligence is all about self-management, self-awareness, and understanding people around. The major aspect of emotional intelligence is relationship management.
Whether you are aware of it or not, there are clear attributes exhibited when you’re operating with low emotional intelligence versus high emotional intelligence. It’s visible and on display, for all to see, even if you are not aware of it. For instance, people with low emotional intelligence tend to be aggressive, egotistical, confrontational, easily distracted, selfish, poor listeners, stubborn, critical, hard to please, perfectionist, and the list goes on and on. Of course, you don’t have to show signs of all of these, but if several are present in the way to respond or show up in relationships, there is obviously room for improvement. On the other hand, someone with high emotional intelligence is usually assertive, ambitious, enthusiastic, social, a good listener, patient, charming, and detailed. Again, you may not possess all these characteristics but most of them. You should also be aware that your high emotional intelligence is not guaranteed for life. You move from one state to the other, especially if you’re not diligent when it comes to valuing quality and mutually rewarding relationships.
One way to monitor your emotional intelligence is to gauge its components which are self-awareness, self-management, social skills, empathy, and motivation. Self-awareness means you can make an accurate self-assessment. You are a person who is in control of your emotions. A point of caution here, do not confuse “being in control of your emotions” with “suppressing your emotions”. Sometimes people believe suppressing their emotions shows strength, however, it has been shown that suppressing your emotions can be harmful to your health.
Next, the ability to self-regulate, to control your reaction to your thoughts and feelings is self-management. You’ve developed the ability to remain calm, you’re flexible because adaptability enables you to manage your emotions. Self-management allows you to stay focused and achievement-driven.
Why are good social skills important? Social skills are all about relationship management. Mastering this component is what will enable you to be an inspirational leader. You are the type of person that’s not egotistical, but rather you focus on developing others so they can have greater influence. Many times, a person with good social skills is described as one who is a change catalyst and is quite effective at conflict management.
Empathy is a beneficial component of good emotional intelligence because it means you can understand how the other person is feeling or thinking. By understanding the feelings of others you’re able to respond caringly and appropriately. If you are part of a team, you care about how the team is feeling and if you are a supervisor, you are interested in and show concern for those you are responsible for managing. Seasoned leaders, make a conscious and deliberate effort to value differences in people, and value expression in thought and skills, instead of viewing them as threats.
Motivation moves an individual to “do something”, to act. You are influenced by either external or internal motivation. If you are moved to act because of others (external), your motivation will most likely be short-lived. Please note, an exception to this would be, if the other (external) force is associated with a compelling story. For example, the external force relates to a sick child, parent, or partner; a traumatic incidence pertaining to a child, parent, or partner. When we speak of self-motivation (internal), it causes you to be more passionate and focused when it comes to achieving your goal. Internal motivation fortifies your ability to reduce distractions and to find ways to turn obstacles into opportunities to create breakthrough experiences.
ROUTINES
Where does mindset fit in this equation, you ask? Yes, you’ve heard it many times and there is a reason that mindset must be part of any conversation when discussing your personal success. This is especially true if you are in your mid-life stage. At different times in our life, the value we place on the importance of mindset will most likely change. So, what are we really talking about? Let’s ask it another way, what set of assumptions, methods, or notions do you hold dear, guide your thinking, or control your reactions and responses to how you engage the world?
In the workplace, a CCO must work on the mindset of many, inter-departmentally, but in your Customer Success Officer (CSO) role your focus will be you – what and how you are thinking. Do you have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset? You have a fixed mindset if you believe or say things like, “this is just who I am, and we all know that people don’t really change”. Conversely, if you believe or say things like, “I am a work in progress, I am constantly changing and believe that others can too, if they so choose”, then you have a growth mindset. Hopefully, the latter is where you identify yourself. There is an abundance of experts, past and present who have dedicated a great deal of study and research of, as well as published works about mindset. Their findings are readily available, so I encourage you to spend time delving deeper to learn about mindset from different perspectives. I will briefly touch on its importance as it relates to you developing the Chief Success Officer role for your personal life.
A growth mindset is crucial for you to be able to effectively deal with daily life challenges. This type of mindset places you on the right path to success, and away from repetitive negative behaviors. When you believe that you are an evolving being, open to change, regardless of your age or status, you are your best asset and advocate, constantly routing for yourself. As I mentioned previously, taking time to discover, why you think the way you do, what impacts your mindset, and how to change your mindset, are worth your commitment to learning, and I urge you to do so. Your study will most likely reveal that process is just as important and, in some instances, more important than outcomes. What’s the difference? A simplified explanation is outcomes are fixed, you either accomplish them or not, and the process emphasizes the effort a person puts into accomplishing a task. You will also discover that focusing on the journey is important. When you do this, you are giving energy to not only what you are doing but how and why you are doing it. You are taking time to “smell the roses” along the path. Also, paying close attention to the words you speak and the thoughts you are having, is valuable. Because unproductive, derogatory words and phrases can be swapped to include more uplifting positive expressions; negative thoughts can be challenged and replaced with more productive images. Becoming knowledgeable about what mindset is and how it influences your decisions empowers you to embrace a growth mindset and enables you to oversee your mental fitness.
A routine is “a sequence of actions regularly followed.” It’s important to not only create but to implement effective routines if you want to be your own “Chief Success Officer”. There is a countless list of successful leaders who believe in and practice routines. Arianna Huffington, Tim Ferris, Melinda Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Elon Musk, Tony Robbins, just to name a few. Examples of routines are, waking up at a specific time each morning, exercising a particular number of times a week, meditating, or praying daily, reading 20-30 minutes in the morning, journaling, planning your daily activities the night before, and the list could go on and on. It has been proven that structure causes your mind and body to thrive, so routines are great tools to help you achieve your goals.
Routines are allies when used to tackle procrastination to decrease anxiety. Therefore, engaging in routines can assist with reducing stress. For instance, instead of agonizing over when to start a project, you develop routines to ensure there is no pressure regarding your start time, making this one less thing to be of concern. If your schedule is hectic and filled with many tasks and to-do items, you must have a process in place to maintain a schedule that is time efficient. Are you are looking for ways to gain control of your schedule? Implementing routines is an excellent way to improve time management. Establishing what’s important to work on daily and what should be eliminated, positions you to remove tendencies toward bad performance and bad habits. Not having routines in place will most likely cause, steady gravitation back to what’s familiar, including habits that are detrimental to achieving what you want. While it can be challenging to change your behavior, routines will assist with identifying barriers and allow you to replace bad habits with effective routines.
SKILLS
So, what skills are needed to place you on the right path? Don’t allow yourself to become overwhelmed. Start with areas that present low barriers for improvement and that can be mastered with a little bit of grit. Quickly, three come to mind – effective listening, critical thinking, and cultivating gratitude.
Practice effective listening skills. Pay attention – this is the moment for you give your undivided attention. Keep good eye contact, not a constant gazed, but measured and reasonable eye contact are recognized visual cues that promote trust and sincerity. Don’t interrupt – there will be time for you to respond, but never a time for you to talk over someone while they are sharing. Use this time to be in tune with the person who is sharing more than how they are delivering their thoughts. If you focus on connecting and understanding, it lessens your temptation to interrupt so you can be heard. Provide feedback, not an unsolicited solution – in this instance, you will mirror what the person shared back to them, so they know you heard them. However, this is not the time for you to try and solve the issue, especially if it is unsolicited. Instead, pause by taking a breath, and allow yourself to be present with the person sharing, so they will be open to receive your feedback at the appropriate time. Halt judgement – during the entire process it is critical that you keep an open mind. Fewer things cause people to shut down quicker than them feeling like they are being judged. An act of great discipline may be needed, but I assure you, the person sharing will consider it a welcomed gift. Respond appropriately – now is the time to ask probing questions. Ask open-ended questions that will encourage deeper thinking and thoughtful responses. It may elicit greater vulnerability, openness, and an optimum experience for engaging conversation.
What comes to mind when someone says, “critical thinking”? The best definition I found was offered by The Foundation for Critical Thinking. “Critical thinking is the intellectually disciplined process of actively and skillfully conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, synthesizing, and evaluating information gathered from, or generated by, observation, experience, reflection, reasoning, or communication, as a guide to belief and action.”
It is critical thinking that allows you to make more informed decisions as you navigate life, daily. Critical thinkers usually exhibit certain behaviors and take a few basic steps in their process. They can identify and frame issues, appropriately. They collect information, examine, and analyze it in an unbiased manner. Once the information has been synthesized and deciphered, they determine what’s relevant. Self-evaluation is an ongoing process to ensure information is being analyzed critically to draw balanced conclusions. Once this is done, they effectively share and explain their conclusions.
Some may wonder why cultivating gratitude is on a list that’s addressing skills. It’s here because gratitude can and should be a skill that is nurtured. We innately know that grateful people are happier people, but there is research to support it as well.
While being kind to others and saying “thank you” can be part of your cultivation, the process of cultivation involves greater breadth and depth. It is much more intentional, with some practices that are simple, some that involves days, some weeks, or years, but mostly cultivating gratitude should become a “way of living”.
I love Leigh Tremaine’s definition of gratitude, “Gratitude is a force and a state of being, awaken by appreciation, and strengthened through mindfulness, that connects us with the gift of life.” The focus is not about receiving from others, although, it includes this exchange. The true emphasis is on life, itself as the focal point for your gratitude. The gift of life is worthy of acknowledgement, appreciation and gratitude. Because of this gift, we have an opportunity to share and contribute to the wellbeing of others.
NETWORKING
Lastly, to become your own Chief Success Officer, you must realize that you can’t go it alone. Expanding your circle, tribe or network is essential. Earlier I mentioned that one responsibility of a Chief Success Officer is creating a “loyalty program”. The definition of a loyalty program is a marketing strategy designed to encourage customers to continue to shop at or use the services of a business associated with the program. Since you are in the process of becoming a Chief Success Officer for yourself, I’m suggesting networking as benefits, that should be a part of a great loyalty program.
Networking is not about just connecting people. It’s about connecting people with people, people with ideas, and people with opportunities.” ― Michele Jennae
Creating an effective network creates opportunities that can yield important relationships, potential accountability partners, and like-minded professionals. Your network should position you to meet and collaborate with thought leaders; provide innovative avenues to learn new skills; generate possibilities to join forces with diverse cultures; support you through your personal growth journey; open doors so you gain admission to potential associates or clients.
There is inherent flexibility in having and utilizing networks. Obvious elasticity is present because how and when you engage with them is determined by you. If you are in need, you reach out to seek council or resources and if you want to share, you reach out and provide guidance or assistance. But, most of all, networks involve genuine engagement. You are not only committed to your success; others’ well-being and achievements are just as important.
You should be intentional about building your networks as immersive environments where there is a genuine focus on increasing knowledge, skill, support, and individuals’ overall wellbeing. They should be centered on interactivity and use problem-solving skills to address issues collectively.
Think of your networks as safe spaces where allies can be engaged, mentors are available, and individuals and groups can harness their power to create a greater outcome than you could accomplish alone. It’s the place where you can find both personal and professional support. If you’re working on a project and you need a marketing lead, a program coordinator, a fundraising expert, or an advisory team, your network could prove ideal to help by providing these resources.
Accepting the challenge of assuming the role of CSO moves you closer to self-determination. Gaining control of your life enables you to chart your success.
“Women’s networks are a necessary part of life. A mixture of empathy and brainstorming can move mountains.” ― Hazel Hawke
